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I wrote this a while back, but it's still all the same

Tonight I told somebody about a person who has caused so much pain and anguish in my life.

Hearing myself talk about it makes me feel so pathetic for ever letting it happen.

I'm sure in his mind the situation was construed as young, petty love.

It almost seems that way.

I thought we were perfect for each other. I knew we belonged together.  It felt so right all along.

Never did I doubt it. Never did I doubt you.

The timing was just not right.

I went days, months, years with my heart on hold. On hold for you.

You put me on a shelf. You were saving me for something. For  nothing.

You made me believe all these things and just made a fool out of me.

So many tears I cried. I cried for you. I cried for me. I cried for us.

But there was never an "us". There was barely ever anything.

I said you make me so happy. But when is the last time you made me happy?

Did you really?

Because I can't think of one time when I was happy…

They say love is hard.

I don't want it.

Its funny how you would think that holding on would make you stronger. It will make the relationship strong.

But in reality it makes YOU weaker.

Because you know it's over.

I realized tonight that I am stronger for letting go.

Don't tell me you love me.

 If you did, you would be here