Tuesday, April 20, 2010

::Note to self::

Dear Cyntia,

Remember these things:

Love never gives up. Love never loses faith, and endures under any circumstance. Fight for what you love. Fight hard. If you're meant to have it. YOU WILL. When you were heartbroken the thought "I should've treated them better" or "I should've done things different" crossed your mind. Love like you will never see that person again.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Being beautiful is not about having having THINGS. It's not about what you have, it's about who you are. No amount of makeup or objective facades can conceal an ugly heart. True beauty shines from within. Beauty fades, but a beautiful heart is forever. You have a beautiful heart.

Stay true to yourself. You are an honest person. Not everybody knows the real you. Those who assume things are just unhappy with themselves. You don't have to prove anything to anybody.

Not everybody is going to like you. That's okay!

Don't lose the child within you. If you feel like singing, SING. If you feel like dancing, DANCE. Stay positive. Have fun. Live, laugh, love.

Today is today. Don't live in the past, don't live in the future. Savor what made you happy today.

SMILE! Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. If you're having a bad day, smile anyway.

Get away from the negative people around you. Don't let their unhappiness rub off on you.

You live in a world of beauty. Embrace it.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Strange and beautiful...

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.


Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.

To gain which is worth having...

I've been thinking a lot about changing things in my life. I had a plan and everything fell apart. I was lost for a while, but I am getting my feet back on the ground and trying to figure my life out. I'm trying to go back to the person I was before. I was happy, motivated, and goal oriented. Maybe it's the rain, but I have been feeling a little down in the dumps. I moved to this place where I don't know anybody, and have been trying to figure it all out on my own. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into.

I've realized that there are things and people in my life that are bringing me down. I've been trying for the longest time to make excuses for me to be okay with the way things are and I realized I cannot do this any longer. I read back on journals from years ago where I wrote the reasons why I didn't believe this would work out. Now that I gave it a chance, I realize that I knew all along why they wouldn't work out and the reasons I wrote 3 years ago, are the reasons why I am not happy.

"To gain which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else."

Sometimes you have to sacrifice something you have and love to gain the happiness that you want. Sometimes the thing that is supposed to make you happy doesn't. It's true that sometimes you have to be stung a little before you can taste the honey, but when is it too much? I am at a breaking point.

What about me? I feel the need to be selfish. I need to do things for myself. It's not always about me, but it's okay for things to be about me sometimes. They never are and if I don't give this up, they never will be. I can feel it. I can feel my patience disappearing. There is no reason to put up with it anymore. Things are not going to change. I've realized this.

Sometimes you just have to give it up. There are great things out there.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Love you stupid boy..


It's crazy to think back six years on the day I first heard your voice. Never would I have imagined you would be the man I would fall in love with. You were just a friend. I listened to your problems and you listened to mine. You helped me with a heartbreak that I never thought I would get over. I opened up to you. I told you my secrets, my fears, and my goals. You became my best friend. If I was scared, I would run to you, if I was sad, I would cry to you, if I was happy, I would rejoice to you. You may not realize it but YOU got me through the physical and verbal maltreatment I underwent. You were the one person that could make it all disappear. You made me stronger, and gave me a reason to smile everyday.

I'm so glad you didn't watch me walk away. I'm so glad I decided to stay.

The only thing I want is for you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You know that in the past few years you have been the one thing I have worked for. I've never wanted anything as much as I wanted "us." I am one hundred percent madly in love with you.

"I'm in love! I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!" Guess that movie. You hate him LOL.

Anyway, I know this is probably another cheesy thing I do, but I'm a cheesy kind of girl :)

Te amo. Con todo mi corazon. <3